Baby Fisher is 4 days old today. Bryn River is 1092 days old today. And I am 10,795 days old today. Yesterday at the hospital baby Fisher peeped open his glassy eyes for the longest while yet. He also finally pooped a poop everyone had been waiting for. Apparently if a newborn does not poop they can develop jaundice so we had been routing for him and waiting for his "glorious" moment to come. When it did his big sister Bryn was fascinated. We know for sure that mommy and daddy bergman with Fisher Wilde Bergman will be returning home to the Xenia hamlet today. Lucky for them, yesterday Bryn and I baked some old-fashioned peanut butter cookies in honor of our new baby and to welcome them home.
I am still thinking of moving my mustang team up here. I had some free time the other day and I took a scenic drive up north into the farm country. I found my dream house but it was neither for rent or for sale. But nonetheless it sparked a farm living dream in my heart and I realized I can barely live happily without my milk goats and chickens and my horses in my backyard for much longer. I realized the intense angst I've been feeling as I wait for my dream to arrive and I could no longer wage off the slump of depression that has been ensuing as I live each day confused as to how to achieve and contribute in this world. So I sank into an
under water daze" that no amount of coffee could release me from. I am surprised I've been able to be on-time anywhere. Sometimes I just want someone to point the way for me. I feel so selfish when I am not able to proffer any gifts to the world or so I think. The problem of not making a choice is that it keeps me paralyzed. And as easy as it could be to make one I've found myself with my propellers in the mud, the thick black mud. Yes world, I think I am stuck. Could you help me? I need something to make my heart sing today.
Quiet homes in the country make my heart sing.
Baking cookies with my 3 year old niece makes my heart sing
Waking up to hold my baby nephew Fisher makes my heart sing
So now the rest of our Sunday begins. The smells of pear trees blooming and the sounds from song birds I cannot see because the trees are so thick are sure to swell my heart with happiness. May we walk in grace and gratitude proffering all that we do in LOVE.
No comments:
Post a Comment