it's real. i told the world. i want to ride my horses to bellingham.

"family portrait"

There she is. Lola Rue. at my feet. biding her time. job searching...

Off on a pony ride.

It's not so easy to get pictures of yourself with your horses and your dog. This is the first time I've ever had any taken. Thank you Regan for sacrificing your clean pants to help me get these images! I owe you a burger.

I sent out my letter today. I trembled in my seat, the same one I have been sitting in for 6 hours straight because I knew if I got up I would become distracted by something to keep me from feeling all the nerve racketing fear of asking for help. I took a walk before I pushed the "send" button, the same walk I took three months ago when I realized if I didn't ask for help then I would need to shelve this dream and tuck it way way into the back behind the other shelved dreams so that it could collect a big pile of dust and just disintegrate. But there has been something very basic about this dream- the fact that I got the horses before I had ever pulled anything else together. It was like I had already signed the contract. So here we are 77 days left till departure, in a snow storm, thinking about grocery shopping, and doing the recycling, juggling the tension between now and May 7th with things on my mind like "what kind of pants do I want to have for this trip?" and "should I go on the west side or the east side Horsetooth Reservoir, what is the traffic like there?" and "jeez, I need to vacuum...". One of my favorite mentors Giovanni Fusetti told me once "anxiety is excitement without breath". So I am pretty sure I am really excited! Yup. Pretty sure.